Being the Other

 (artifact 1)

 (artifact 2)

For the assignment, "Being the other," I went to GameStop at the University Mall. I had originally planned to go to Bible study at the Baptist church in Orem, but I was 30 minutes late, so I had to think of another idea. As a result, I was wearing a skirt. I figured this would be a good place for the assignment since I have never really played a video game, and my family never owned a video gaming console while I lived at home. If there's ever anything I don't understand, it's video games. 

Notes taken while hanging out at GameStop:

1. Observation: everyone who shops at GameStop is a boy, or came in with a boy. 

    Interpretation: only boys play and are good at video games.

    Feelings: I felt pretty out of place and very lonely, seeing as I was a girl and didn't have a boy with me. At one point I followed a man around semi closely, hoping that people would associate me with him.

2. Observation: nobody holds eye contact.

    Interpretation: everyone keeps to themselves, doesn't want to talk, or is up to something secret.

    Feelings: I felt so left out! I wanted to ask someone what games were good to play or if they had any recommendations for someone 

3. Observation: everyone is wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

    Interpretation: this is a pretty relaxed environment; it doesn't matter what you look like.

    Feelings: I felt pretty out of place, seeing as I had just come from the baptist church so I was in a skirt... I wanted to change my clothes pretty bad.

4. Observation: there is a ton of information packed into a small space (video games on the wall, things in their ad I picked up at the door (artifact 2), etc.)

    Interpretation: there is a LOT to know in order to be a video gamer.

    Feelings: I will never make it. I can't learn all of this information in any reasonable amount of time. This was the largest factor in me not wanting to pursue a life of video gaming.

5. Observation: loud music or TV show about video gaming playing in the background. 

    Interpretation:we aren't meant to be having conversations; the TV can provide useful information and entertainment.

    Feelings: I actually felt pretty good about this; I knew there was a place to go to learn more and I figured I could round up some conversation starters from this pool of information. Unfortunately, the words they were using were pretty much all foreign to me.

6. Observation: everyone speaks softly; answers to questions were answered short and simply, ending conversation quickly. 

    Interpretation: socializing isn't big in this culture.

    Feelings: I felt pretty awkward, because socializing is HUGE in the culture of me. I don't know how to do really anything without socializing.

 (artifact 3)

I took the picture above to demonstrate what the entire store looked like to me. It was so packed full of games that I didn't know where to start in looking at them or knowing what to do with them. I watched a lot of people as they wandered the store, and everyone one of them seemed to know what they were doing. They all came with other people: some with a friend, some with a small group of friends, and some with a spouse. When they talked, they talked quietly and directly to the people they came with. During my entire visit, including the time when I talked to a man searching through the "New Used Games," lots of people made eye contact with me, but they all quickly looked away. I have rarely felt so alone. The feeling reminded me so much of when I was a missionary; I wanted to talk to people, but there was a paralyzing fear of doing so because I didn't know what to say to relate to the people. 

I couldn't help but think that this must be so hard when you have to do it for more than 30 minutes and you can't just leave when you feel like you've collected enough data. To live with that kind of fear of rejection must be terrible. The whole time I was hoping that an employee would come up and ask me if they could help me find something, and they never did. As a teacher, I need to be that employee. I need to go up to the people who are struggling to fit in and just offer to help. Even though that wouldn't have made me fit in with the gamers all around me, at least I would've had some kind of comfort and relief from the stress and fear of rejection.

Being at GameStop was very uncomfortable for me. Really, this came from the fact that I don't know anything about the culture and couldn't relate with the people there. I know that I need to do more to understand this culture. There will no doubt be plenty of my students who will play video games regularly and I need to understand how to reach them. My husband used to play a lot of video games and can probably help me to understand the gaming world. I also could try playing video games and experience it for myself. By trying to understand the culture of those who play video games better, I might be able to integrate gaming principles into my classroom. Perhaps I could have levels or tracks or something in classroom labs that students who play video games would love.

At one point, I saw some boys playing with a Wii demo console. I noticed that on another TV nearby, there was an X-Box, so I decided to follow their example and give that a try. After handling the controller, pressing buttons, turning it upside down and shaking it a little, I realized that the console wasn't hooked up, but was actually just on display. I was so embarrassed. Here I had been trying so hard to fit in, and finally I saw a way...and it wasn't even a way! Instead it was just a good way to look silly in front of everyone. I tried to act like it never happened, but I know somebody had to have seen. I really just want to help my students know that it's okay to mess up and play the wrong console! Because after the boys were done with the Wii demo game, I decided to give it a try. After a lot of clicking around, I entered a race as Yoshi. I will now brag about my performance:

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I got third place in the race! I felt pretty good about myself. I actually did something right, and I did it well! Apparently even the least of us can be successful in an unfamiliar environment. It's pretty interesting that I could be fairly good at the very thing this group was reporting to be good at, but I still didn't fit in.